chronicgambler | IC INBOX for Prisma

[It had taken them time to come together, to make things work and make sense to them both. Back home, things were so different, so much more difficult in so many ways. Here... maybe they only had to worry about the occasional life threatening situation and they'd be fine thereafter. It was an easy decision for Dice, following the desires of his impulsive heart, to want to be with Gentaro. To want to make that permanent was... terrifying. He's young, and he knows it, stupid, impulsive, he bleeds money, but his heart is as big as anyone's and he decided when Gentaro wrote a book for him that that was all he needed. Maybe it's that he still expects his life to be short and bright. Maybe it's that he wants to find one more anchor besides just Fling Posse.

Whatever the case, whatever led him to buy that ring on impulse when he saw it, he didn't expect to give it to Gentaro so soon. Any plans he was forming did go right out the window, but Gentaro asked, Gentaro wanted, and Dice didn't have the heart or desire to refuse. It's not a honeymoon phase, in his opinion. He's spent nights pretending to be asleep, mulling over this, making sure he knows what he's doing and doesn't let Gentaro down. He spent those weeks they were apart examining his life, going from anger to sadness, wondering and hoping and forgetting himself until finally that knock came and they fell together, never to part again.

That's the way the story started in earnest. He knows it'll end out among the cosmos somewhere, their starlit and moonlit love, even if it started with misunderstandings and foolishness. He's devoted. He's dedicated. And he loves Gentaro more than he can explain.

He goes out only in the afternoon, after Gentaro offhandedly mentions they need more cat food, forgetting the date entirely. So by the time the night rolls around, he's cozy on the couch, playing casino and crane games on his phone, passing the time with little exclamations and curses, one hand straying now and again to pet Prince beside him.]

( logic would dictate he wait a few months, to be absolutely certain, but he had never been in love, had never known love truly, had never wanted to risk it all. he had had chances for crushes and flings and affairs and the like. but no one brought him to life like dice; there wasn’t a point in waiting for an inevitability. he needed this as much as he needed writing.

gentaro is busy putting away the takeout around that time, sparing glances at dice. twenty minutes. it’s been twenty minutes and he still hasn’t noticed. good god if he wasn’t in love with this man so fully he’d be irked.

he hums as he tidies up, keeping an eye out to the couch. any minute now his pretty gambler is going to realize that their kitten has a black ribbon around his neck and a very pretty gold ring tied to it. it isn’t really dangling because gentaro knows kittens are prone to... playing. )

[And Dice needed Gentaro to bring every single day to vivid life. He figured that out before they were even here, though it took on a different character with the moons in play. Thank goodness for strange happenstance.

Dice finally loses one last round of his crane game and makes a frustrated sound, gently tossing his phone onto the coffee table.]

It's rigged, Prince!

[He talks to the little cat like he's a person, as usual, scooping him up without any protest from the tabby. Cradling the kitten in his arms, he reaches for a toy mouse to play with him with.

It's then that he notices the black ribbon, and the gold ring. Being Dice, he doesn't know what it is, or why it's there. He doesn't honestly even suspect it...]

What's that you're wearing, little guy? Kinda shiny for a tiny thing like you...

( gentaro almost slams his head against the fridge. jesus. christ. but he remains calm, cool, collected. with a sigh, he grabs for the hoodie nearby that he’s conveniently brought in from the other room, slipping it on. yes, he is wearing dice’s clothing. and yes, he isn’t too proud to do it. )

The cat won’t answer you, you know. Unless you’ve discovered the ancient art of Prisnyatic?

( he heads over, hands tucked neatly in the pockets of the hoodie. )

[He spots Gentaro coming over, and something about the casual way he puts on the hoodie makes some weird connection happen in Dice's brain.

He looks back down to Prince, who is now trying to get to the ring, and unties the ribbon.]

Prince is a real smart cat, and we talk a whole lot. Don't you underestimate me or my son!

[A huge grin, and he dangles the ribbon-wrapped ring toward Gentaro.]

Has he had this on all day?

( are you sure it’s not your dick thinking it’s attractive and remembering the first round of engagement sex, dice? unclear.

gentaro innocently covers his mouth with the sleeve - dice’s clothes are long on him given how damn scrawny gentaro is, but they’re incredibly comfortable nonetheless. )

No, only since you returned home. It took quite a bit of treating to get him to sit still long enough to put it on.

[Wow. Dice can be romantic, you know.

But that sex was amazing.]

I almost missed it!

[He settles Prince down onto his lap, where the kitten tries to bat at the dangling end of the ribbon until Dice starts freeing the ring. It's now that he finally sees the stars on it, and his head snaps up to Gentaro.]

...Is this, uh...?

( now the nerves kick in. his throat is dry and his hand drops from his mouth. he can’t make a joke or lie about this. he can’t be eccentric. he just needs to — be honest. like he’s learned to be with dice, day by day. )

Hm. You’re right.

( he closes his eyes and sighs, and then with a leap of faith that’s 80% nerves and 20% adrenaline, drops down to one knee at the base of the couch, his hand ghosting over dice’s and the ring in it. it’s cold, his already bad circulation coupling with nerves making it even colder than usual. )

Suppose you weren’t Dice Arisugawa and I wasn’t Gentaro Yumeno. Suppose we weren’t even here. Suppose it was another century. No matter the arrangement of those variables, I confidently can say that I would give myself wholly and only to you, time and time again.

Gentaro...

[Dice watches him kneel, watches in awe as this man who he considers a glorious part of his life, with no equal, and certainly no superior, looks up at him with earnestness and affection, and says... that.

Turning his hand over, the ring in his fingers, he presses it to Gentaro's palm. He'd better do the honors.]

Even if you're not you and I'm not me, even if every world that's ever existed tries to come between us, I will find you. And I'll be yours. Every fuckin' time.

( very gently, gentaro takes the ring and slides it to dice’s ring finger. god it looks so nice on him, bright, shining. showy but not gaudy. )

I suppose it’s official now, don’t you think?

( his heart is in his throat, chest thundering loudly. he won’t cry, can’t cry, looks down at their hands to fight off the moisture collecting on his long lashes. )

An adequate White Day gift? ( because if he doesn’t keep talking he’s going to cry. he’s just that — emotionally overcome and happy. )

[Dice nods, and maybe he's a little choked up, too. He leans over, head bent low, and presses his forehead to Gentaro's.

Prince takes the opportunity to clamber up to Dice's back.]

It's the best. You are, too. I could count all the stars in the sky before I could count up how much I love you.

[Grinning, he moves to kiss Gentaro's eyelids. If he smiles, he won't cry. If he thinks about how much he loves life, he won't cry. He can only grin until his face hurts.]

We're gettin' married. You and me.

( can dice even count that high? he wants to tease, feels that familiar stirring on his tongue, but smiling is making it impossible to do anything but to keep smiling. he had always been envious of couples in love, doting and walking around the park or shibuya with endless love. but now he supposes he doesn’t have a reason to be jealous anymore. not when he has dice for the long-term. )

Ah, a jackpot, truly.

( his voice is quiet, shaky, exposed. he smooths his free hand up dice’s leg so he can sit up taller, on his knees fully, guiding their foreheads together again as he brushes their mouths together just once, chastely. )

Did you know I didn’t believe in marriage before you? ( wrote about it, perhaps, but truly believe? not really. )

[Dice accepts the kiss with warmth, with a press of his own lips back, just as chaste. He wants to pull Gentaro up into his arms, but there's a cat on his back, which he notes as Prince plays with the beads dangling by his ear.]

I didn't know that, but... [A door opens inside Dice, and he takes a quiet breath.] ...I think my mom always wanted me to marry some rich, successful lady and be some kinda trophy husband. I think they were talking about marriage meetings for me before I was even, like, eighteen.

[He nods faintly.]

I thought, you know, I'd never find anybody. So I didn't really think about it. Even once we got together, I didn't really think about it right away.

( dice’s honesty does so many wonderful things to him. honesty had always been so foreign, removed, a weakness. it had been ingrained in him up think that. but dice? he wears it so damn beautifully. )

A shame she’ll have to settle on a lying author that has little use for the rich and heartless.

( he knows. he’s always known, and if dice is willing to mention, he’s willing to expand on it. )

[He laughs.]

I love you just the way you are. Lies and all. Money's not all it's cracked up to be sometimes, either. It's just kinda... a means to an end! Love's way more important. And lovin' everything about your life, as much as you can.

[Prince tumbles off Dice's lower back and onto the couch, prompting Dice to pull Gentaro up, hopefully guiding him right onto his lap.]

Lately, I've been thinkin'... I got so much to give. And I'm givin' it to you. And that makes me really happy.

( he easily goes, easily gets comfortable in his fiancés lap. his free hand rests gently on dice’s shoulder for balance and gentaro’s expression just grows brighter, bolder. )

You certainly have developed a way with words. I’m flattered I’ve been such a poetic influence.

( he kisses dice’s cheek just under his eye, breathing him in. )

Had you not shown me the thrill of taking a true risk for the sake of myself and no one else, I would have never had the courage for any of this.

[Dice kisses Gentaro's cheek, putting his arms around his fiance and holding him close.]

Whatever happens, here or anywhere else, I'll always gamble on winning with you. You're the best damn thing. I dunno if I can really be as good at showing that as you are, but I'm gonna keep it up til the end. I mean it.

Oh, I hope so. No take backs.

( gentaro comfortably adjusts on dice’s lap, one arm curled warmly around his fiancé’s neck as the other moves to dangle his hand with the engagement ring on it. )

You’ve chosen this as yours, I’m afraid.

Damn straight I did.

[Playfully, he leans in and kisses Gentaro's ring finger.]

You're the one stuck with me!

( he’s so stupidly cute. )

Mm. ( softer, he uses his right hand to brush along dice’s nape. ) I love you. Truly.

I love you. More than I wanna even try to put into words!

[Gentaro's the cute one. Duh.]

Kinda funny, ain't it?

( do not start this “more” game with him, dice. )

Hm? What is?

( oh good, he’s decently distracted. )

Mm.... me settling down, I guess. Not like I'm really gonna change much, but I never thought in a million years anybody'd wanna keep me around.

[He laughs, like there's a joke that's been told, big and louder than he needs to.]

Like, I swear... Even after Valentine's Day, I thought.... you'd change your mind or somethin'. Or maybe I dreamed givin' you that ring. Or you misunderstood me, or maybe I misunderstood you... It's like every mornin', wakin' up to see you still here... it's nice.

( dice what the hell. his heart breaks just a little upon hearing that. has dice really suffered just as shitty and emotionally devastating a life as him? )

I won’t mince words with this. ( or do something joking or exaggerated. )

I truly intend on waking up beside you each and every day. When I told you how I truly felt, I was taking a gamble that you would feel the same, would want this to last. I had already made up my mind by taking that risk.

[Whatever the content of their pasts, they're looking forward from now on. Together. He never doubts it, but he wonders even now what somebody like Gentaro sees in a guy like him. It's why he got a job, why he thinks so much more now than ever before. He may still be a complete and utter himbo but he's trying.]

I believe you.

[Which is a wild thing to say to Gentaro, specifically.]

I mean, I always did, but... Maybe I can stop doubtin' myself a little bit more.

IC INBOX for Prisma

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