chronicgambler | IC INBOX for Prisma

Perhaps I lied when I said it was a decision. More an inevitability. I hadn’t felt alive in over five years. So thank you. Not for loving me, not for having the courage to kiss me. Thank you for being you. Unapologetically you. I truly love that about you.

u r the only person who has ever even thought that abt me
i dont know the best way to tell u how special u r to me or how much i love waking up beside u and holding u at night and seeing u when i get home from w/e or seeing u when u come home n i just want to be able to tell u that all the time even if u dont need to hear it

idk what i was doing with my life before u

u r so smart and ur raps are like poetry n maybe i never made it all the way through one of ur books but sometimes id try bc they were good

( he’s so in love with this earnest, humble gambler. )

Is that so? Flip to the last page of the piece I’m looking to publish that I left out for you the other night.

( should he do that, the last page has the following. )

★
to the only star in my sky

yours, always

[He sends back a picture of the last page. He hasn't finished reading the manuscript yet but he'll work even harder at it now.]

is that for me?

And if it was?

are u coming home soon?

Unlocking the door now. ♥

[Dice is off the couch before the door is even open, and the second Gentaro steps inside he rushes over to him and throws his arms around him. His face is pressed to Gentaro's shoulder, his hands are balled into fists at his boyfriend's back, and he's doing nothing short of clinging.]

( that’s... something? gentaro is surprised, blinks, and gently presses a hand to dice’s shoulder blades. )

Hello, Dice.

[Dice doesn't say anything at first, just clinging, breaths obviously irregular, forced. But he seems to soothe after a full minute, at which point he pulls away and in fact fully turns around so he can quickly wipe a sleeve over his face.

There might be a damp spot on Gentaro's clothes.]

You gonna publish it with that in it?

( why is his back to him? what are emotions. please explain. he tips his head to the side, pensive. )

That’s my intention, yes. Printed in ink.

( to clarify??? )

For me...

[He puts his hands behind his head, trying to look casual before he turns back around. At least when he does, he's smiling broadly.]

You wrote a whole book for me?

( a soft smile appears. ah, ok, he didn’t break him. good. )

I did, yes. I told you I would.

( he taps his lips thoughtfully. )

It’s my longest piece yet.

I'm not done with it yet! I'm gonna stay up all night and read it tonight, just so I can see how it ends.

[Dice, who hasn't spent more than an hour at a time reading...]

Don’t stay up all night. ( but he reaches out to brush dice’s bangs back. )

You’ll have to tell me what you think. It’s for you, after all.

( him and his turbo gay dedication. )

[Right. There hasn't been a night since they started dating that they've slept apart. Tonight wouldn't be a great time to start.]

So far, I really like it... I think the, uh, probably the thief is my favorite character! The whole twist that he's the king of the bandits? I didn't see it coming!

( ah, excellent. his favorite character is gentaro. perfect. just as planned. his expression softens and he tilts his head to the side. )

You’ll greatly enjoy the ending, then.

( spoilers: the kings run away together and are pseudo-married by “bandit” standards and rituals. )

[Dice just grins, broad and happy beyond anything he can honestly describe. He doesn't always feel like he deserves Gentaro, like maybe the author is going to wake up one day and realize he made a grave mistake in loving someone as unpredictable and wild as he is. But beneath the gambler, the risk-taker, there's always been a Dice who cares, who encourages others and bolsters them. He's the anchor for a reason. Even if he doesn't quite understand the extent of his own love, and how broadly and freely and deeply he gives it, he still knows there's something there. He suspects he's a diamond in the rough these days, if only because Fling Posse gave him purpose and Gentaro gave him the whole fucking world.

He's eager to go read more. The fallen king in the story has just met the thief and the scientist, and their threads have only just come together. Dice won't anticipate or try to guess the ending, even if Stella is ingrained in his heart. He's enjoying everything Gentaro wrote... for him.]

It'll knock me over, I bet! You wanna sit with me while I read? It's still early, and I don't work tonight.

Of course.

( there’s a twist of a smile at the suggestion. it’s been a long day for gentaro and the idea of watching dice read, sitting up with him? god it’s so — simple and comforting. he never thought he’d have that.

he easily steps back and then reaches for dice’s hand, intertwining their fingers. )

Grab the manuscript and meet me in bed. You can read it there as I write.

( and play with dice’s hair as he reads. )

["Of course." Just like that, and Dice feels a weird, spacey lightness take him for a moment. Of course Gentaro just wants to exist next to him? They're getting so comfortable that he wonders why this feels like a treasure being offered.

Before he knows it, Gentaro is holding his hand, and he moves in to give him a soft, thoughtful kiss.]

Yeah. Won't take me a sec. I'm gonna change, too.

[Please, he's about to read shirtless in bed with his head on Gentaro's shoulder, or maybe eventually his chest or his lap. It's so stupidly domestic it ought to make him rethink his life, but... no. It feels like a dream. He lives for these little things.]

( please, his lap is the most domestic. he’ll gladly allow it. while dice grabs the manuscript, gentaro sheds his layers. he goes down to boxers and slips a thin bathrobe on as he grabs his book and pen from the kitchen.

it’s — new. having somebody around when he writes, as he unwinds. it’s nice to have dice idly kiss him or. ....

either way, he gets into bed, on the covers, and sits up against the headboard as he thumbs open his notebook. )

[Dice gets down to his own boxers and some loose sleep pants before climbing into bed beside Gentaro, the manuscript tucked under his arm. It's probably the most carefully kept item Dice has had in his possession in years. There's a ribbon being used as a bookmark, and he scoots closer to Gentaro as he opens the pages and slides the ribbon out. He offers Gentaro a quick kiss on the temple then, comfortably nestled against his author, he starts reading.

He must be a delight, because he reacts to everything. If something shocking happens, there's a little "ah!" If it's funny, he laughs. A few times he nudges Gentaro and points out a passage, asking for clarification on imagery or a term he doesn't know. Eventually, though, he gets so engrossed in it that he stops reacting. He leans forward slightly, deeply invested in the text, and eventually leans back against the pillows with a soft huff, staring up at the ceiling.

He definitely just got to the, ahem, part about the bandit and the king hooking up. The lead up is dangerous and full of action mixed with beautiful words and intense emotions, where the bandit had been hiding his feelings and finally let them overflow. It hits Dice hard to see someone who he's definitely picturing with Gentaro's face having strong, plainly stated emotions. For him to be so raw and real when he's so used to keeping everyone at a distance must've been hard on the guy, Dice thinks, always full of empathy for the characters.

Maybe the scene faded to black, so to speak, but Dice's imagination is leaping and he's thinking about this way too much.]

( gentaro is absently writing poetry. he doesn’t do it often — he’d rather rap, when he’s in the moment and feeling the flow. poetry has always alluded him.

but this? this is flowing so well, as if dice is his muse. maybe dice really is his muse. god, he wouldn’t be upset if that was the case. he’s been writing so much since dice arrived and they’ve been dating.

his hand absently finds a home in dice’s hair as he reads. he’s grown quiet so gentaro can’t help but try and peek at where he’s at. his nails idly scrape along dice’s scalp, in lazy half circles. )

[It's very obvious where Dice is, because somehow Gentaro so cleverly planned this that the final line of the fade is all alone at the top of the page. Dice hasn't managed to read what comes after yet.

He glances over to Gentaro and looks rather serious.]

So the bandit king, he's a little like you. How much of this part is, uh...?

[Gentaro, Dice is attempting to ask about your kinks. Take the bait, or...? He can't really fathom Gentaro laying that information out for everyone to see, but at the same time unless they know Gentaro and Fling Posse the way Dice does, they'd hardly be able to catch on that the characters are meant to come from a similar source. The thief is so distinctive, as is the fallen king. They're nothing like the people who "play" them in Stella, but there are tokens of truth here and there. The fallen king likes small animals and is kind to children; the bandit is often sullen when no one can see him--it's all small things. But the chemistry in that scene is so much like the first time they hooked up that Dice's brain went places; so evocative was Gentaro's writing that he couldn't not throw himself into that scene and desperately want to be in the king's place.]

Hm?

( he feigns not knowing where dice is that. those fingers in dice’s hair curl, twine the hair around, and he peeks at the page again to confirm. ah, yes. just as planned. his heartbeat picks up, an excited thrill rushing through him, and he allows a tiny but mischievous smile to overtake him. )

Who’s to say? ( rude. gentaro is to say. he ought to know. dice didn’t even finish his sentence but gentaro can fill in the blanks — it’s easy when it comes to dice. maybe that’s what dating does to you. )

You’re far more handsome than that king... ousama. ( CONFIRMED!!!??? )

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