chronicgambler | IC INBOX for Prisma

I didn't mean to do this. I didn't mean to fall in love. I didn't mean to let anyone see me like this. But I don't regret any of it.

Perhaps I lied when I said it was a decision. More an inevitability. I hadn’t felt alive in over five years. So thank you. Not for loving me, not for having the courage to kiss me. Thank you for being you. Unapologetically you. I truly love that about you.

u r the only person who has ever even thought that abt me
i dont know the best way to tell u how special u r to me or how much i love waking up beside u and holding u at night and seeing u when i get home from w/e or seeing u when u come home n i just want to be able to tell u that all the time even if u dont need to hear it

idk what i was doing with my life before u

u r so smart and ur raps are like poetry n maybe i never made it all the way through one of ur books but sometimes id try bc they were good

( he’s so in love with this earnest, humble gambler. )

Is that so? Flip to the last page of the piece I’m looking to publish that I left out for you the other night.

( should he do that, the last page has the following. )

★
to the only star in my sky

yours, always

[He sends back a picture of the last page. He hasn't finished reading the manuscript yet but he'll work even harder at it now.]

is that for me?

And if it was?

are u coming home soon?

Unlocking the door now. ♥

[Dice is off the couch before the door is even open, and the second Gentaro steps inside he rushes over to him and throws his arms around him. His face is pressed to Gentaro's shoulder, his hands are balled into fists at his boyfriend's back, and he's doing nothing short of clinging.]

( that’s... something? gentaro is surprised, blinks, and gently presses a hand to dice’s shoulder blades. )

Hello, Dice.

[Dice doesn't say anything at first, just clinging, breaths obviously irregular, forced. But he seems to soothe after a full minute, at which point he pulls away and in fact fully turns around so he can quickly wipe a sleeve over his face.

There might be a damp spot on Gentaro's clothes.]

You gonna publish it with that in it?

( why is his back to him? what are emotions. please explain. he tips his head to the side, pensive. )

That’s my intention, yes. Printed in ink.

( to clarify??? )

For me...

[He puts his hands behind his head, trying to look casual before he turns back around. At least when he does, he's smiling broadly.]

You wrote a whole book for me?

( a soft smile appears. ah, ok, he didn’t break him. good. )

I did, yes. I told you I would.

( he taps his lips thoughtfully. )

It’s my longest piece yet.

I'm not done with it yet! I'm gonna stay up all night and read it tonight, just so I can see how it ends.

[Dice, who hasn't spent more than an hour at a time reading...]

Don’t stay up all night. ( but he reaches out to brush dice’s bangs back. )

You’ll have to tell me what you think. It’s for you, after all.

( him and his turbo gay dedication. )

[Right. There hasn't been a night since they started dating that they've slept apart. Tonight wouldn't be a great time to start.]

So far, I really like it... I think the, uh, probably the thief is my favorite character! The whole twist that he's the king of the bandits? I didn't see it coming!

( ah, excellent. his favorite character is gentaro. perfect. just as planned. his expression softens and he tilts his head to the side. )

You’ll greatly enjoy the ending, then.

( spoilers: the kings run away together and are pseudo-married by “bandit” standards and rituals. )

[Dice just grins, broad and happy beyond anything he can honestly describe. He doesn't always feel like he deserves Gentaro, like maybe the author is going to wake up one day and realize he made a grave mistake in loving someone as unpredictable and wild as he is. But beneath the gambler, the risk-taker, there's always been a Dice who cares, who encourages others and bolsters them. He's the anchor for a reason. Even if he doesn't quite understand the extent of his own love, and how broadly and freely and deeply he gives it, he still knows there's something there. He suspects he's a diamond in the rough these days, if only because Fling Posse gave him purpose and Gentaro gave him the whole fucking world.

He's eager to go read more. The fallen king in the story has just met the thief and the scientist, and their threads have only just come together. Dice won't anticipate or try to guess the ending, even if Stella is ingrained in his heart. He's enjoying everything Gentaro wrote... for him.]

It'll knock me over, I bet! You wanna sit with me while I read? It's still early, and I don't work tonight.

as long as u dont make me wear anything girly ill do it and ill look great!!!
the better i look the more ull pay right?

Of course.

( there’s a twist of a smile at the suggestion. it’s been a long day for gentaro and the idea of watching dice read, sitting up with him? god it’s so — simple and comforting. he never thought he’d have that.

he easily steps back and then reaches for dice’s hand, intertwining their fingers. )

Grab the manuscript and meet me in bed. You can read it there as I write.

( and play with dice’s hair as he reads. )

[That sentimentality gets Dice right in the chest, if only for a moment. Then he feels the grind and honestly, the whole world is just the two of them right now. He's so hooked he'll never get enough. He presses back against Gentaro, rolling his hips with purpose before he reaches to stroke himself.]

You feel like sayin' my name a few more times? Tellin' me how good it feels when I fuck you?

[That's a risk, but now that they've done what they just did, he feels a little bolder.]

Girly? thats so mean dice!
yes, the more people you pull in the better~

[Dice will never intentionally let him down, and if he does it accidentally he'll beat himself up. He just wants Gentaro to be with him until there's nothing left in the world. Whatever world.

That, though. They're both so secretive about their pasts, and for good reason, but...]

I'd... like that. Knowing more about you. Doesn't have to be past stuff if it doesn't matter, but I wanna see the whole you. Everything. Everything you like, everything you don't like... stuff you wanna do when we're old and tired and done with the whole rap business.

[Dice wants to put his hand where that mic used to be, once it's all said and done. And he'll fight for that.]

babe if u can get away i will meet u there and give u the best bj of your life
fuck that was hot i didnt know they could do that but im ready to do it again
ur voice is as good as ur raps
i wanna hear it

IC INBOX for Prisma

2/2: what he doesn't send

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